Having a happy marriage may not be as complicated, or difficult, as many people think it is. Try these surprisingly simple and powerful suggestions, and you will find some wonderful things happening in your marriage.

If you're reading this, you may either be thinking about marriage, newly engaged, or married and wanting things to be better. You want to know the secret to a happy marriage.

We probably all too well know marriages that don't seem happy. And then we know couples that have this aura about them. You may know a couple like Al and Jan. They've been married for 30 years and have 3 grown kids. And yet they have a sparkle in their eyes when they talk about each other. If you were to ask them what their secret was to having a happy marriage they may tell you that it's simple, but not always easy. Al and Jan both knew there were some things they needed to do help facilitate a happy marriage.

Know your desire. Find someone who loves you as much as you love them. You don't want a fairytale marriage but you want your marriage based on mutual love and happiness.

Picture yourself in a happy marriage. Imagine yourself as a couple doing those things that make each other happy. See the smiles on your faces. Imagine the activities you will do. Imagine the words that will be said. Close your eyes and see you and your loved one dancing to your favorite song.

Do those things that bring about peace and happiness in a marriage. It doesn't have to be big things. Quite frankly, the smaller things usually go a further way. Hold hands. Help with the dishes. Watch the kids so your spouse can have some free time. Bring home some flowers. Put a note in his lunchbox. Make his favorite meal. Plan a night away from the kids.

To help have a happy marriage, there are certain things you want to eliminate from your day. Many of these things are verbal but can often be seen in the nonverbal actions. Simply put, don't complain and don't compare.

Make sure your words build up rather than tear down your spouse. We all know the phrase, "if you can"t say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Be honest and truthful, but make sure your words build your spouse. Give your spouse a compliment. Tell them thank you. Tell them they look pretty. Tell them "I love you"

As Al and Jan will tell you, the past 30 years had its share of both good and bad times. Things weren't always easy, but there were some simple steps they needed to do to support a happy marriage. They knew the secret.

About the Author

Dr. Rick Schaefer is the author and can provide additional ways to help you improve and elevate your mood, thoughts and life experiences, in simple yet lasting daily lessons through his revolutionary new program "Extreme Thought Makeover: 37 Days to Maximum Life!" Read about his program at http://www.rickschaefermd.com. To ask Dr. Rick a question, please visit Ask Dr. Rick.